Sufjan Stevens.

So. Everything.

This concert.

Music. Inspiration. Colors. Elements. Depth. Beauty...trying to come up with words to define all the sporadic and scattered feelings and observations i have from this concert...the words are too surface however hard i seem to try and encapsulate what this night was.

There is, however, this small feeling of regret.

It's like when watching the sun set and wanting so much more from it. I heard my pastor use this analogy...like...wanting to taste it or live inside it. That it's one of the most beautiful things God could grace you to experience on this earth...and yet, the meaning behind Him wanting you to experience it is not the experience itself, but what it gives reference to.

This world can only offer so much and it points to this need to be fulfilled so much more fully than it can do.

This concert left me wanting.

To be in the music...a part of it...

There was even a point where I was in the front, harmonizing while being near enough to hear this unfiltered voice...just vulnerable in what it's been made to be. such an amazing moment of feeling like "i'm in the music, some paradigm of a part of that which has inspired me so often."

But still...this wanting...

I believe God blessed me greatly with this experience in that He is going to be the fulfillment of beauty in the end. Of everything, in the end, and while i'm on this earth...he'll bring me closer and close to understanding His Son and all the beauty, freedom, and grace that's wrapped up in that. But the day when i see his face...that day...there will be nothing left in me wanting...

and the grey beauty that is in the waiting for this day, when i see all of how the previous ones accumulated to the realization of this.

that they were always pale in comparison, but the elements that pointed me to Him were true and there.

oh. how i long to truly breathe.

yes. this concert was that amazing.

ha....oh man.